Zion's Camping Trip...

I bought a new camera, my favorite kind, pink and cheap.

Are we there yet?!?

They actually look like they are having fun here.... Really hot and longer than they thought it would be.....

Don't ask......I am truly not sure...

Nice hair baby, nice hair.....

Sarah and Troy, notice Isaac isn't there, he was angry at me, that will explain the picture below.

I can see you.....!

I am a little scared......still hasn't brushed his hair.

I guess that smiling would be out of the question!!

Can you tell they are family?????

Jason's sister LeAnn and her husband Neil.
The trip was fun, not long enough, and way too many people
there for how I like to camp, but really fun.

Part 2: Hilary's Birthday photos..

Porter, Hilary, and Sidney....
I think that I am going to be sick.....

Nothing, I got nothing.....

Hilary, MOM, and Me....

It Says it All....

Nothing more needs to be said, all that know me will know this says it all.

Birthday Girl

Today is all about
YOU Hilary!
It is your Birthday...
and if you feel like running
around naked I will bail you out of jail......

Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday dear Hilary ...
Happy Birthday to YOU....
I love you sweet sister and friend...

(Kari, thanks for the photo...)

Seven Days....and Counting

Day seven....
Seven days that Isaac has been sick, he woke up twice last night again to throw up.
I am going to take the poor guy to the docotor today.
He has missed four days of school.
He has missed 21 full meals.....he snacks on Gogurt, and hot chocolate.
My poor little guy just isn't himself.
Chelsea and Clarice have had this and it last about 36 hours for them.

Flu...Oh, the Flu Season

My family has been sick all week.
Chelsea was sick on Monday and Tuesday.
Isaac has been sick since Tuesday afternoon, he seems fine during the day but nighttime is a different story...Last night was the worse one yet.....(please keep in mind that I get up at 4:30am every day to go to work)

• Isaac woke up at 11:36 (I know becuase I looked at the clock) doing that pre-cough before you lose your cookies, so to speak. Yep, he lost them, three feet from the toilet, but did manage to hit everything in between including my favorite running shoes, and I mean not ON the shoes, but IN the shoes. Jason and I gave the poor guy a bath, cleaned up with almost half a container of Clorox wipes, and I did a load of laundry.
• Isaac woke up again at 1:30, this time he made it to the bathroom sink. Jason and I cleaned up with almost every last Clorox wipe, gave Isaac another bath, and I did another load of laundry.
• Isaac wakes up at 3:20 this time he did make it to the toilet...YEA...Jason didn't get up this time, I needed to do another load of laundry though becuase poor guy lost control of the other end.

At this point I just layed in bed until I could smell the coffee brewing 4:10 and got up, got dressed and here I am. I am tired, coffee and all. My paycheck this week isn't going to be shit. I am a betting person so I will make a pretty good wager on me and Clarice being sick this weekend.

Official Statement:

I AM going to have to order these mugs......Why you ask? Because I freakin' dreamed about them!! I have a problem, do they provide help for people like me? Mug Fetish....

SOOOOO Cute!

As EVERYONE knows I love coffee and will find ANY excuse to buy a new mug. Well there is NO excuse why not to buy these, except for one small problem. I can't find them. I have been to 5 different Starbuck's and they are all sold out and will not be getting anymore. I can however go on-line and buy them but they sell them in pairs. ALSO, you must order two items. SO, I get four mugs for the low, low price of $38.79.
Question to all #1:
Why would you buy two of the exact same mug....do you think Jason is going to drink out of that 'cute' pumpkin mug? "Hey, big boys at work, you like my new mug"? NO, for sure he will NOT.
So, my question for all #2:
Why would Starbuck's make an 8oz mug....? Yes, these darling mugs are only 8 ounces. Are we going to start buying coffee for our infants, becuase these mugs are the equivalent of a baby bottle. BUT THEY ARE SO CUTE.......I have died and gone to mug heaven/hell.

Pick-UP

Today at 2:00...

We Pick-UP

The Pop-UP

(I feel like a Dr Suess book)

Two Years....and Counting

Two years ago at this time I was sitting on the end of my bed, with my head in my hands, wondering how I could let myself get to this point in my life. How could I think it was okay to have a double shot every morning before I drove to work? Sit at work and feel the effects wear off as my hands began to shake. I would take my lunch and go to the liquor store, buy three liter bottles of the cheapest rum there was and hide it in my trunk. I would go through sometime five liters a week. The minute I walked into the front door I would have a shot, sometimes right out of the bottle and would continue to drink until I went to bed.

My kids would watch this, my husband would patiently take over when I couldn't. I couldn't drive to the grocery store, I couldn't drive to the school. There was never a holiday, a vacation, a birthday, or even a church session that I wasn't drunk. I can't remember vacations, I can't remember birthdays, school events, nothing really for a full 18 months.

As I walked into the hospital I cried. I was losing another one of my friends, first food and now booze, could I do this, could I detox and go home and pretend I was fine? When I entered the hospital I was double the legal limit and it was 9:30 am, I didn't feel drunk. My husband left me, in a locked wing of the hospital, unable to leave, unable to call anyone on the phone, unable to have visitors for 24 hours. I begged to leave, I paced the halls, I cried, I prayed for strength. Strength I received.....rehab was one of the most difficult things I have done in my life.

It has been two years, two years today since I have touch a single drink. My head is clear.

Thank you God for the strength you gave me.
Thank you Jason for your patience.
Thank you Ashlee, Chelsea, Clarice, and Isaac for loving my anyway.
Thank you family for understanding when I just couldn't come to the party due to temptation.
Thank you Feliece for saying enough is enough.

Please welcome to the Jensen family....228D (We will find a better name for it when we take it out camping). We will be officially picking up our new addition on Friday. They need to add a extra break switch to the 4 Runner whichthey will be doing tomorrow. It will be ready for pick-up Friday. Friday/Saturday we will be cleaning out the garage, we call it storage for crap you never use, and didn't know you had. Getting rid of the Blazer (formerly known as the driveway paper-weight). I am having a difficult time realizing that not only did we get the 228D, we are cleaning the garage, AND getting rid of the Blazer that has been dead in the driveway for almost four years.

Oh Happy Day....

Jason has been working so hard to finish up the bedroom, I am fairly excited to finally have it done after 10 years of waiting......did I mention that Jason works on Jason time? I am sure I have. My house was built in 1958 and it is all lathan plaster which makes it so fun when you want to hang a picture. It has been a challenge for Jason to start a job when he knows it is going to be a complete mess. I also have NO closet space in my room, so today I ordered the following to hang off the new closet doors. I will have to go through some shoes and take them to the DI. I don't know where Jason is going to put his shoes.....he he he I don't know what I am going to do with myself if I don't have to look through a pile of shoes every night to get myself ready for the morning. I am as happy as they come right now. The room has been painted (shades of green), the molding replaced, crown molding going up, and new closet organizer?!? WTH...have I gone mad?!? Is my world colliding.....picture the Feliece happy dance, as disturbing as it can be, it CAN be entertaining.....he he he

AND .......Drum roll please.....

We have been pre-approved for this.....

Yes, that is a King size bed,

AND a Queen size. There is a shower and a toilet (listen to the angels singing from above) with additional room to sleep four more.

Can today get any better?

Enjoy....

Enjoy who you are....
Enjoy who you can be....
Enjoy what others see in you....
Enjoy the feeling of a smile.....
Enjoy the sound of music....
Enjoy the way you dance....
Enjoy dancing to your own tune....
Enjoy when people laugh at you....
Enjoy the feeling of the wind, sun, rain, and snow on your face...
Enjoy the feeling of stress, it makes calmness mean so much....
Enjoy sharing a smile....
Enjoy the hug from a friend....
Enjoy the warmth of love....
Enjoy the song of my heart....
Enjoy the song of my soul....
ENJOY.....ME

Have you ever loved music so much that it hurts. It is strange for me to explain, but that is how it makes me feel. I could listen to music 24 hours a day, compulsively. I have truly loved music since before I can remember. I hear it in the wind, I hear it in the trees, I hear it in my heart. I giggle when I get a new CD, I outright laugh out loud when I play it for my family, they sometimes look at me like I am crazy. I see my love of music in my kids, When Isaac hears a new song he likes he will look at me and say, 'mommy, this makes my feet dance'. I will catch Clarice dancing alone in front of the TV, she has even asked for a guitar for Christmas. Chelsea has learned to sing my songs, and loves them. Jason knows my mood just by what I listen too, I really love that man, he makes my heart feel the way that music does.

1st Day of Autumn

Today it the First Day of Fall

A Perfect Day....to lay in bed and sleep.

I guess being at work can be the same... :~)

Never Too Old to Learn:

Things that I have learned in the last five days:

1. Not a good idea to tell your husband to shove that 'little violin' up his ass, the one he was playing with his finger tips while I was voicing my 'opinion' to him. I guess he shouldn't play that 'little violin' for me again the next time I tell him how I feel. I don't know, just a thought.
2. Indeed, Jason is just as stubborn as I am.
3. 27 times is NOT to many times when you ask someone to pick-up their stuff.
4. 'That wasn't my intention' actually means 'I'm sorry', (it's okay, I didn't get that one either). I tried to look up different meanings of 'not my intention' in the Thesaurus not one of them mentioned 'apology'. Go figure?!
5. I really like to go to work sometimes.
6. Not all prisons have bars.
7. Things don't always go away if you ignore them.
8. Can't get enough of Collective Soul. :~)
   

Van Gogh - My beautiful friend

Van Gogh - The Poplars at Saint Remy

The Art Show was all that could be expected. When I saw Van Gogh my eyes filled with tears and arms covered in goose bumps. He only had two paintings there and no picture that I can show you will do them justice.

Renoir - Mademoiselle

I have taken tomorrow off and am going to go see them again with my mother. No kids this time. Not that they were horrible, becuase I was pleaseantly surprised with how well they behaved. I hope when they are older they will remember this, becuase it may not happen again in Utah. I love my children and I want them to understand the beauty in all that they see, there is beauty in everything, sometimes it is had to see, but you must search for it.

Salvador Dali - The Dream

Dear Dairy.......

Dear Diary: It has been two days since I have listened to Collective Soul....am I going mad, don't answer that, truly enough of the madness. Jared, this guy I work with said that I have concert fever and if I listen to them too much I will burn out. I believe that Jared has been sniffing the company white out, that would explain the white ring around the end of his nose. Do they have some sort of intervention for that? Oh boy, thank your lucky stars that I am crazy too. (Collective soul fans will get that)

Dear Diary: pg 2 Why is it when you buy a travel mug and it states that it is 'leak proof' it really is NOT? I love coffee, as everyone knows, but not if I have to suck it out of my shirt. I Blame it on the man - (Collective Soul fans will get that)

Dear Diary: pg 3 What kind of sick joke was it when they invented the poppy seed bagle. It is the gift that keeps on giving......more of the seeds land in my lap, key board and down my shirt than ever make it in my mouth. I can take my bra off at the end of the day and, sure enough poppy seeds galore! Lets not even talk about how many are inbetween my teeth that no one tells me about. I can walk around for hours talking to people and NO one bothers to say, 'Hey, you have a 'little something' in your teeth.' I get home and look in the mirror and sure enough there are 93 poppy seeds just hanging out taking up residency. It is just the world that I know. (Collective Soul fans will get that)

Dear Diary: pg 4 FRIDAY.......Heaven let your light shine down! (Collective Soul fans will get this one)

Dear Diary: pg 5 Am I a creepy fan.....? Am I just wasting time? - (Collective Soul fans will get that)

Dear Diary: pg 6 Who could bring me heaven when heaven is already here? - I know - blah blah blah - Collective Soul fans will get it...........

Love me for all my craziness.... :~)

I am going to re-visit the cRaZy comment:

Noele - ME - Hilary (sisters and friends)

Corporate Visitors ~

Twice a year we have corporate visitors....today's visitors are equal to #2 and #3 under Bill Marriott. I stress so much about them, althought they are incredibly nice people. I opened the building today at 5:30 and will end my evening tonight around 7:30. Great part of the day is that I get breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. We end the day at Baxter's Resturant at the Gateway where I get to watch almost everyone get drunk....this part can be quite entertaining. Last time we went they spent more money on booze than food....

I spent most of my night having nightmares about runs in my nylons, missing our three hour meeting because I was at WalMart getting new nylons. Needless to say today I put a run in my nylons, my right upper thigh smells like nail polish, I covered a three inch radius just in case.... :~) can never be too safe :~) becuase I am sure as hell am not going to Walmart to get new ones :~)

11 hours until I will be home cuddling on the couch with my famliy.

Sky of Gray

Rain, rain, stay and play...
Wet my feet on this Autumn day.

Like small tears from heaven
that never comes from sadness.

The soul of life that comes from you,
and creates a sky of azure blue.

Rain, rain stay today and
cover my world in gladness.

Van Gough - My Favorite

Did he know how he would be loved?

Did he know his flowers would warm my soul?

Did he know that when the wind blows you can feel him?

Did he know that stars will never be looked at quite the same?

(Hilary are we ready for this...?)

Finally.....

Van Gogh/Picasso/Monet - I will be there Saturday...Wait for me!

I decided that having five Collective Soul CD's on my IPod wasn't enough....(here comes my compulsive personality, Hilary I know you understanding and are nodding your head in agreement right now) ....... So, I went and bought three more.....AND than went on Amazon and bought a movie too. For the love I am sitting here shaking my head even as I blog....how pathetic am I??? Don't answer that.....

Love me......at some point you have too, people feel sorry for me.

Guess WHAT......?!?!

It happened. What you ask?!?

Collective Soul

Happened.......

Highlights (like you have all been waiting for this) : I am still so excited.....it warms my heart to just think about it....I thought all of the people next to me were going to kill me, I was so loud. Ed, the lead singer, pointed at me and said he had his eyes on me. I felt like a little kid in a candy store. Now I want to go buy every CD of theirs that I don't have, which isn't many, maybe a moive of their tour. AND...Jason loved it. He rocked out with me. He was singing and screaming with me....He loves ME...He has been redeemed... PS: (He got lucky for this one....)
OH...one other thing, so I am going up the elevator to change my clothes for the concert, and low and behold who is in the elevator with me? The effin' guitar player in the band, Dean, he is Ed's brother, he is suppose to be really shy! He wouldn't even look up....I sat staring at his shoes and he sat there staring at mine....good grief I am an idiot....What?!?! I could just say...HEY...what's up? I talk to EVERYONE else in the elevator, complete strangers are my best friends. I now think about it and want to kick myself in the ass, since when am I shy or ever been afraid to voice anything, not even a 'Hello'????

Okay that was my weekend.....very SWEET!

I am pleased to announce that I now have five people reading my blog......he he he.......I mean it. Today is a good day I will tell you why:

• Five people - which equates to the next one.
• FRIDAY.....(enough said)....fifth day of the week.
• Three days from Monday......four away from five......close enough, I guess?!?!
• I have had four cups of coffee* already........ (I coffee :~} ) one away from five...If I wait 30 minutes I will be on five.
• I have five kids.....notice I added my husband to this one.

****Caffeine intoxication: An acute overdose of caffeine, usually in excess of 300 milligrams, can result in a state of central nervous system over-stimulation called caffeine intoxication. The symptoms of caffeine intoxication may include restlessness, nervousness, excitement, insomnia, flushing of the face, increased urination, gastrointestinal disturbance, muscle twitching, a rambling flow of thought and speech, irritability, irregular or rapid heart beat, and psychomotor agitation. In cases of much larger overdoses mania, depression, lapses in judgment, disorientation, and loss of social inhibition, delusions, hallucinations, psychosis, rhabdomyolysis, and death may occur. In cases of extreme overdose, death can result. Worth the side effects if you ask me.

Thursday........one more day until Friday - :~).......and two more days closer to missing the Collective Soul concert that Jason promised me three months ago he would take me to. I have wanted to go to a Collective Soul concert for at least 10 years. I decided to pull up their web site last week and OF COURSE they are sold out. I kept reminding him at least 10 times he promised to take me and to get the tickets. I am sure he assumed that I would get them because I always take care of everything. But I was hoping that a surprize would be in order due to all I do for him and the family, nope. Why do I always set myself up for things like this? I know in my heart it will never happen, but deep down in that 'idiot bone' I have I still have an ounce of optimism (that didn't sound very optimistic did it?). I often think that being pessimistic might make life easier sometimes, that way I wouldn't expect anything. I get tired of bitching...doesn't help, it makes me look like a bitch.....but at what point is it okay? I have blogged about this before no one likes a 'negative nelly' but it makes me feel better to write it down on paper.

Thanks for listening...... :~)

WTH....?!?!?
Jason let Isaac and Clarice walk to school today....by themselves. Clarice, fine, she is used to that, Isaac has never walked to the school, for the love, it is his second day of school.
MEN......

As everyone knows I work for a very large hotel chain, in their accounting office. I have been here almost 10 years. On the most part I really like it, I adore the people I work with (most of them) most these people I would actually consider family more than friends......however.....WHY can't a multi-billion dollar company have a computer system that works? Don't get me wrong, I love the fact I can come to work and get paid to blog. BUT, it is the end of the period and I DO have work to do by week-end, corporate gets cranky when it isn't done. This was a new system, four years ago, but as quickly as the wind changes the system is now obsolete, and slower than piss on a cold morning (you know that kind of morning, when you wake up and have to sit on a freezing toilet seat and than get stage fright due to your numb ass).
:~) :~) :~)

Isaac's first day of school (for the second time) went great, no tears this time......Clarice kindly stood with him in line. He wore a pair of levis, a cute blue plaid button up shirt, and a bright red pair of Converse High tops, truthfully I want a pair for myself but I feel I am too old (boo hoo), and people will think I am pretending to be young if I buy them, so as usual I will live vicarilously through my children. He stated to me he learned how to 'play' today, I think we should all go back to kindergarten and learn how to play, because if truth be told some poeple don't play well with others. He also informed me that he made two new friends (girls), girls aren't stinky in kindergarten, give him time, give him time. He ended his day by drawing circles, seriously.....that is what he said to me, 'seriously mom, we drew circles', like duh!

Clarice, as usual, is my social butterfly making more and more friends everyday. I wonder where she gets that from, becuase I am so quite and reserved....he he he.....!~ it amazes me how many people know her, when I dropped Isaac off yesterday everyone was saying 'hi' to Clarice.

Chelsea, has homework up the butt. Her anatomy class is kicking her butt already but she still is doing great. This is a college course, and will transfer to Weber, she will be jamming on that and saving tons of money. I am proud of her.

Ashlee will be moving back into her mother-in-laws house the first week in October. I am not looking forward to that. Due to money issues they need to move back, we have no room for them at our house and truthfully I don't think I could handle it. I am not as patient the older I get, and I have rules they don't want to live with. My grandkids are sooooooo cute and getting big.

I have always wanted an Australian Shepherd.....who wouldn't. I know Jason would say no due to the shedding. But they are so stinkin' cute. Could someone please talk Jason into this one.

What I want to do when I 'grow up'........

find more of these!

Or just play in the dirt.....maybe eat a little dirt.

Add some water and play in the mud.

Not care what my nails look like.

Isaac's First Day of Kindergarten
Clarice's First Day of 4th Grade
Chelsea's First Day of 11th Grade

Isaac was apprehensive already and so scared. I drew a heart on his hand (and Clarice's) and kissed them......I told them if they needed me, or a hug, even a kiss, to look at that heart and put that hand on their face. It was crazy at the school, hundreds of kids and clowns....dogs dressed as clowns, clowns are creepy anyway, why clowns? He clung on to me, he was attached to my hip. They told us parents to stand on the grass while the kids lined up. Clarice was fine, she went right to her class line and being the 'social butterfly' she is I had no worries about her. Isaac on the other hand is more the type that has to study things out first and make a clear decision on whether it is something he really wants to do. He wanted NOTHING to do with Kindergarten. He was so scared, his whole body was shaking, he cried quietly, tears running down his face. I wanted to cry, my eyes filled with tears, I blinked them back knowing if I started it would make it worse. I knelt down by him and held him, introduced him to the kids in line. When we finally got into his room they had the parents sit at the tables and the kids on the floor in front of the room. Isaac kept looking at me and looking at his hand, than he would slowing move his hand to his face and hold it there for a minute. He did this about six times while I sat there. He was much calmer now, not so much chaos.....the teacher explained how the kids were going to play outside while she talked to us. He did fine. He went back for testing yesterday, and did great, he even picked a flower for his teacher and put it in a vase. He is working into the fact that he will be all alone on Tuesday September 2nd, his official first day of school which I told Jason he had to take him to, way to much for me to deal with again.

Chelsea had me drive her to the bus stop, and was out of the car. I of course video taped the whole thing, she was sooooo happy about that. I try and tramatize her, I want to cause therapy at some point in her life.....he he he....I think I am pretty close to that now!

All my kids are in school....and I am feeling a little sad, I promised myself I would be fine, I am not fine..... ;~(

It comes to me with a saddened heart and much distress on part to say good-bye to the office 'crushed ice' machine. I am an avid ice eater and not just ANY ice, crushed ice. I must eat 8 glasses a day. They are replacing my ice machine with a new crappy ice machine that only gives cubed ice. I can't eat cubed ice.....I will be in a deep depression for the next 18 years..... So I go in the break room to get my final glass and they had already unplugged it.......sigh.......depression....If I had a chain I would have chained myself to the machine......unless really.

It is a lovely Thursday morning and many weeks since I have blogged......to all of my two readers....I know how you have been waiting...and I am finally here to entertain all. I have done absolutely nothing entertaining except my work golf tournament (don't get excited I DONT golf). I was asked to man a 'hole' for carity (sounds wrong all in itself) 7th hole of the Hidden Vally Country Club in Draper. All that know me know I don't travel past Murray (sisters houes, or it won't even be that far, moto for me, if you can't get it in Bountiful you don't need it) so this was sooooo far away. Well, who knew there was a 'dress code'? I asked what to wear four time the week prior, no straight answer. So, I wore these really cute LEVI capries, and a even cuter baby doll shirt. I thought I looked hot. I finally get there after exploring the surrounding neighborhoods trying to find the 'effin enterance. I than walk up to the front of the Country club with all eyes on me (I thought that I was so hot no one could look away) NOT. I was right away told that no LEVIS were aloud and all shirts needed a collar. WHAT? I must go change. Well, since I live in North Salt Lake, and driving home would be out of the question in morning traffic, my best option was to buy new clothes. I was 'a little' pissed to say the least, this information would have been helpful last week one of the FOUR time I asked. Note to all the two people reading...... Not a lot of places are open at 7:30 that you can buy clothes at, nope, not ANY. I wandered around aimlessly for a half hour until I found the Super Walmart. I proceeded to buy cream color capries, a guys pink polo shirt and a brand new pack of white underwear (Underwear you ask? Yes, that day I was wearing BLACK underwear, not a good look on a golf course with cream colored capries on. If I was a hooker the looked would have worked, since I was manning a HOLE, but not at this upscale Country Club). I had to change my clothes in the bathroom of Walmart, visual that should be really thought about when I told you I had to buy underwear. Finally get back about 8:30, and head to my 'hole' which took five minutes on the golf cart. It actually was fun until they told me I had to pay for my own lunch....WTF? I politely said no thank you, becasue the alternative answer would have been as follows, are you 'effin' kidding me? After the fun was over I quickly got the hell out of there and promised myself that the Counrty Club life was not for me.

Today will be a very long day/night for me. My work day starts at 5:00 until 2:30, than at 4:00 I will be heading out to participate in the following Relay for Life. The Relay starts at 5:00pm and ends at 9:00am Saturday morning. I woke up this morning very tired all ready, I believe that I am going to need extra coffee today. Jason was going to go with me tonight, but I will now be doing it alone. It's okay though, it would be funner with him there but such as life, I tried to get someone in my family to do it with me, but no go. I am on a team with Sandy Leon who I work with (breat cancer survivor) so we will see how that works out, I'm sure I will get there and have a great time, I bring my own party, how could I not with all those voices in my head, JK, really, I am just kidding. Normally on Friday's I am excited and ready for the weekend, not so ready for this weekend. Busy.......

• Walk tonight/morning.
• Dish Network coming in the morning (they say morning but they really mean 4:00 in the afternoon), replace old dish, and receivers
• RC Willy coming in the morning, replace broken bench that has been on back order for 4 months
• Get 4 new tires - $915 later - ouch!
• Potluck with Jason's family - his sister is in from Vegas, I am not sure what to bring yet, maybe I will bring string cheese and a can of olives... :~)
• Laundry...lots of laundry...I usually do it through the week but I was really busy this week.
• Start on two baby blankets, Chelsea's friends mom is having twins.
• Work out - ahhhh - I like this one

And to top it all off, my friend visited this morning.....my monthly friend.....who really isn't much of a friend if you ask me.

This is what I was stuck behind yesterday for about two hours on the freeway, I was about a half a mile back and missed it by about 3 minutes. No big deal if I hadn't just drank 32oz of water an hour prior. I had a ultra-sound at 3:00, I didn't make my appointment. I was parked on the freeway from about 2:40 until 4:30. I remember exactly becuase I had to PEE. Than possiblities crossed my mind.

1. I could crawl in the back and pee in a bag of clothes I was going to take to the DI and than go home and throw them away.
2. I could pee in my favorite coffee mug......hell no....I would have to through it away...hell NO.
3. Get out of the truck and pee on the side of the road (and all that know me will know this is true) .
4. Ask the car ahead of me, full of kids, if they have an extra diaper.
5. Unzip pants and hope this helps by allowing more room.
6. Wait.........and cry, I really mean, I cried.

I picked.........drum roll please.........#5 and 6.

More to story......he he he.....really, this is funny!

I get home and Clarice is covered in Chicken pocks (one on the end of her nose and lots behind knees, by her crotch, tummy, arm pits, all the warm spots that they start)......go ahead.....ask.....'has she had them before?' Why yes, thanks for asking, she has, twice! This will make it three times she has had them. I go pick up Isaac, and, go ahead, ASK.....YEP....he has them too.....and yes he has had them before as well. My family tends to get chicken pocks more than once. So does my niece, grandma, and two of my kids. They have both had a cold so they could have had a fever, and with the weather being so hot, I really wouldn't have known. They don't seem to be horrible cases, but Clarice was really itchy last night. Bright side is that school hasn't started yet and they won't be missing school. Not so bright side is that I have a relay on Friday and family coming in from Las Vegas tomorrow. I am sure that Clarice and Isaac will be contagious through the weekend, until all have scabbed over. Oh well, I do have to laugh and count the other blessings:

1. I don't have them... :~)
2. Jason doesn't have them.... :~)
3. Chelsea doesn't have them.... :~)
4. Kids not in school... :~)
5. Both kids seem pleasant..... :~)
6. Excuse to leave work early..... :~) :~) (that one deserves a double smiley)
7. It couls be WAY worse... :~)

Much to be thankful for...

Much to smile about.....

I got my ring on Friday with much to my surprize....(I guess Jason can be spontaneous)....I love it...not to big not to small and I think that playing in the dirt with it will be fine. The best part is, that it only took three years :~) He did do it I really thought that I would never get one.

Chelsea is on a plane headed for home, after much grief and too many issues to list, I am finally getting her home. YIPPEE

Ashlee was laid off this morning after 3 days of work at her new job....they ended up not having enough work for the amount of people they hired. She works so hard to keep her family afloat, I try and help when I can but I have kids at home as well. Love that kid.....maybe my prayers will help, maybe reasons unknown mean she needs to look somewhere else.
ASHLEE IS COMING OVER TODAY WITH THE GRANDKIDS.....41 year old with two grand kids, hard to hold sometimes....oh well!

Clarice and I are going to start doing Yoga together. I already dabble a little in it at home, and I LOVE it. Clarice does some with Leanne, her aunt, and she can kick some little booty when she does it. I am going to make Chelsea do it with us too.

I love my kids.....I love my husband, some days more than others.....I love my Family......I love my life.

To all the powerful women in my life:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet
hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says:

'Oh Shit - she's awake!!!'

I miss my Chelsea.....

Chelsea is at her dads in Iowa. Chelsea's step-mom mis-booked her plane ticket and instead of having her fly home on the 20th of July, she booked it for the 20th of August (she is a drunk, seriously). I told Chelsea to tell Jackie(step-mom)to change the ticket, she refused! So I took matters into my own hands and told Tim(her dad). I explained the whole horrible situation to her dad, who has been gone to Iraq, and said he would do it immediately. He had no idea, and I hated having to tell him that Chelsea wanted to come home because of his wife. His wife is a great lady who really does love Chelsea, she just has some issues that she needs to work through before I want Chelsea back out there again. I told Tim this and he agreed. My heart aches for Chelsea in hopes that these 'issues' will be taken care of soon so she can go back out to be with her dad who loves her dearly.

I love my sisters.
They make me happy.
They make me smile.
Love you!

Redneck deep thought of the day:

If the biggest compliment you got at your wedding was
how cute your baby was...you might be a redneck.

I am so very excited....currently there is showing at the

Utah Museum of Fine Arts the following artists:

Monet......

Picasso.......

Van Gogh......

Renoir.....

Degas.....

Dali.......

Artwork is on exhibition from the Cleveland Museum of Art.

It is only making four stops in the US and WE are one of them.
Van Gogh is my favorite artist ever....I love his work...I want the following, just prints....he he he, like I would EVER get an original!! They would look great in my living room and would make me warm all over to know that I have them. This is really the only big gift I have asked for (other than a new wedding ring, whole other story, that I don't want to get into, just know that my 10th wedding anniversary was the worst anniversary I have ever had).

We did it.....

I wasn't first....

I wasn't last.....

I crossed the finish...

The woman that starts the race isn't the same woman that finishes the race.

The RACE is ON...

We head out to Denver today for the race on Sunday......
I have decided to DO IT...not to win...to finish....

Pray for me.....

Think of me....

Love you all!

PS....Hilary thanks for all the gear I borrowed! If I drown you will need to fish me out to get your pants back. HE HE HE Not that funny really.

Today I still feel like I am in the 10th circle of hell (whatever that means, it just sounded good) about not being ready for the Triathilon......I cried most of the night, of course Jason wasn't home. Jason doesn't seem to get it and I am irrated that he never listens to me. I can truly carry on a full conversation of 2 - 3 minutes sitting RIGHT next to him and he doesn't hear a single word I say. Than he has the nerve to get mad at me because I won't repeat it. It is getting worse and I feel like he has learned to tune out the sound of my voice. I know that sounds harsh but that is really how I feel. I get so angry at him and he just thinks that I am negative all the time, it seems that it is the only time that I can get his attention. Horrible circle of effin' life. He does his 'side' jobs five days a week and we, as a family, never see him. When he gets home he walks right by me like I am not even there, he hasn't touched me in weeks, that in turn makes me think horrible thoughts about what he is really doing at night. I feel like I am invisable, I'm sure he feels the same, but thanks to my inheritated stubborness I will not budge. I will just cry when he can't see, do all the things I am expected to do, put on a smiley face for all those to see, and reach yet another depth of depression I haven't reached before(11th circle of hell). If I was allowed to have friends I could vent to them but that is a whole other story.

No matter what you've done wrong...
always try to make it look like the dog did it...

10 Days until we head to Denver. I should have been going to do the Triatholon with Sharon and Shelby, but due to unforseen 'issues' with my body.....I am going to have to do it next year. I am truly depressed right now and on the verge of tears. I have been tring so hard for this, I joined a gym, I exersied daily, I prepared my family for time away from home, I ran a 5K to prepare, but here I am feeling horrible about how my body is not prepared or ready for this. I AM feeling sorry for myself and I am okay with it. I am usually upbeat and pleasant, not today.....I will be better later.....after, after the 'D' day or should I say 'T' day is gone......
Forgive the bitterness.....

Hilary introduced me to a something that I must have and belongs with me (that I will be making tonight)I will love him and hug him and kiss him. I love him so much......! Please see below:

We just came back from camping on Monday, our annual Great Baisn trip.....It is so beautiful up there. I will have to say with it being so cold lately that we were all a little afraid of what the weather would be, but we packed for five and included an extra pair of shoes anyway.....

• Day One: we left at about 7:30am, and started our four hour drive to the 'mighty' Great Basin. Once there we headed to the 9500ft camp ground that we always stay at, we knew when we got there it might be a problem because the mountain was covered in snow. Sure enough it was a problem.....'our' spot was covered in almost two feet of snow.....boo hoo...so sad, becuase I love waking up at the base of the cirque.....see above.....so we move further down the mountain to another camp ground. My heart actually ached that we couldn't camp at the top. Set up tent and three air mattresses - funny story, will tell more on day two. Had tin-foil dinners for dinner.......yummy! We always eat well while we are camping.
• Day Two: Jason and I woke up refreshed on our foot high air matress and look over and both of the kids air mattresses were flat as a pancakes they might as well have been sleeping on the ground.......he he he....needless to say the one air mattress had poped and the other had a slow leak, the air pump broke, and Jason had to inflat the air mattress every night with just the air in his lungs, can't help but laugh at that one. We went exploring the west desert for nine hours.......Jason's idea......I will have to give you an incredible highlight of that day though. We, just by chance, drove to the base of a hugh cave in the Moriah Mountains. It was about half way up the 'mountain' and spectacular looking, I look at Jason and Jason looks at me and we both agreed that we should take the kids and do the hike.....after all it didn't look too bad...and I knew in my heart there would be Indain ruins in that cave. Why do things always look sooooo much easier from the bottom.....you see where this is going right? The 'little' hike ended up being about 4 miles up round trip with an elevation gain of about 3000 - 3500 feet. All of the kids cried and thought they were going to die at numerous parts of the hike, and in my heart I thought I was too. The tallis under my feet slipped with every step and one step ended up being two. The small rocks at the bottom were boulders up close and what we thought were bushes were trees that we had to crawl under and through. We questioned our judgement about halfway up but realized that we were too far at this point to turn back. By the time we finally made it up there I realized that I would do it again (without the kids), it was full of Indian ruins. I was in utter awe of what I was seeing and cried like a baby. The homes were constructed of pine needles, mud, and old wood, not much left of them but there was enough for me. Nothing was touched and it was left the way we found it. Our camera was broken but the whole thing is video taped. We stayed for awhile to soak in what we were looking at and than prayed for our safety on the way down the mountain, we knew it would be worse going down. Jason would take one kid down in his arms about fifty feet and than go up for another one, as you can see we made it! The 'little' hike took 3 1/2 hours. I thanked God for letting us arrive safely. But my heart aches that we didn't spend more time. I found out that the Indian ruins were probably of the Freemont Indians which occupied the area from 1200 - 1295 AD. The rest of the day isn't nearly as eventful as that, in fact the rest of the year won't be as eventful as that. I did have to mention to Jason a few times that I felt like I was in the movie 'The Hills Have Eyes'. We were literally on a dirt road ALL day. My sweet, adoreable Jason always takes the road less taken, how can you get angry about that unless you are on hour 6 of the road less taken. Isaac kept saying, can we go home? Please can we go home? Jason kept telling him we were taking the long way home....he he he.....Packed a lunch and treats in the car for the day....we had steaks for dinner with fire baked potatoes, why does everything taste better when you are camping?
• Day Three: We went to Ely to look for a new pump, could find a store that would sell one....he he he...still laughing about Jason having to blow one up every night. We roamed around on the other side of Great Basin, explored the remains of mines (they are ALL over) and resued a calf. Funny story...we are heading to Ely and there are cows all over, there was a calf on the side of the road on the outside of the fence and the mother cow was on the inside of the fence right next to the calf. We all noticed and hoped that it would find its way back in the fence soon to be with mommy cow. Sever hours later when we were driving back to camp we drove by the calf and mommy and they were in the same place still but no other cows were around them this time they had all moved on. Baby still on outside of fence mommy still on inside of the fence. Jason is all distraut that he calf is going to run out in traffic or starve but drives on, 10 -15 miles later Jason is still quite and looks distraut, I look at him and say, 'You want to go back and help the cow?' Quickly he says,'do you mind?' well of course I don't mind....WTH does he think, the fact he waited 15 minutes was funny, if I hadn't said anything would he wait until we got back to camp to turn around and help the cow? So we head back and rescue the calf back on to his side of the fence. Calf and mommy run into the field, we felt liekwe had saved the day......or the meat we would be eating in a year. Not to make fun, but we had hamburgers for dinner....I am still laughing.
• Day Four: It rained all night long, but we figured it would and covered everything with the two tarps we brought. When I opened the tent to go out that morning the rain was at a drizzle and fog covered the camping site to the point that you couldn't see 10 feet in front of you. It was beautiful...We went on a 7 mile hike with the kids around the mountain to the other side, after the hike the day before this one was cake. It was level and the veiws were incredible. They claim that on a clear day you can see for 100 miles, I will agree with that. Had a picnic at Wheeler Peak, the snow was almost gone and someone had taken 'our' camping spot. Jason took Isaac and Clarice and took a 3 1/2 mile hike down the mountain, Chelsea wouln't go so I headed down the mountain in the 4Runner to meet them at the bottom. I parked and left Chelsea and headed up the trail to meet them. Than we took another drive on roads less taken....fun! Really it was fun, we found more caves that we didn't have time to hike to that really didn't look that bad....you have heard that one before... :~) For dinner we had Bratwurst and fire baked potatoes.......yummy.
  Day Five: We decided to go home early. We packed up and headed home, it was a little sad but we knew we would be back. We weren't able to hike to the the Bristlecone forest due to snow on the trails up to four feet, that was sad for me the trees are astounding, thousdands of years old, literally.
  

Thoughts for today:

If you met my family you would understand.

If you move your couch and find 14 cigarette lighters, $11.37 in change, and a 6 year old TV guide......you might be a redneck...!

Saturday was the 'Holbrook' Family Reunion........

(Noele, Hilary and I wore matching shorts, very loud shorts, but sooooo cute, Hilary will have to add that picture, I don't have a camera)

Highlights are as follows:

1. I AM completely normal....don't argue with me....trust me on this one, I AM normal....all these years I thought that I was odd and a little off, nope, not anymore. Our family was the normal one here, if you must sit down to read this it's okay, I understand.
2. Colored name tags by family-helpful due to the fact I haven't seen the family in 10 years. We were orange, my favorite color!
3. I saw at least six people who added their last names to the tags....note to all, we are all part of the SAME family, i.e. last names on the tags not a requirement.
4. Jell-O, everyone had some, but us......Jell-o reminds me too much of a Jell-o shooters......good memories, great memories.......
5. Boggers...I got to see two people with boogers coming out of their noses, they were adults, not the kids......PS...I just threw up in my mouth a little.
6. All families are dysfunctional, mine included.
7. I saw some extremely large belt buckles.....why?....Why do they wear them, doesn't that cut off cirrulation to 'parts' or are they compensating for not having the 'parts'? I am so confused, can't we all just be happy with what we have......humm.....did I just say that? I'm not too happy with what I have, my breast have gone south, and the wrinkles on my forehead look like tire marks.
8. I want to let everyone know that this reunion was scheduled on my grandma's birthday, who passed away 16 years ago. My aunt looks JUST like my grandma, so she thought it would be funny to dress in grandma's old dress, her glasses, and her wig and come out and pretend she was my grandma. I was soooooo creeped out by this, WTF, I seriously thought it was my grandma. TOP THAT.......?!?!
9. One thing I did miss was that my dad and uncle are too old to run from opposite ends of the room and bounce off each others stomaches.....true entertainment.
10. All teasing aside, it was fun.....we missed not having Chris, Sharon and Jack there, it will probably be the last one we have due to the age of the aunts and uncles. I love them, they are all my family and I would walk with them always and be proud to say they were my family.

*****Remember that we all walk to a different tune, who says yours in the right tune? Sing the song and listen for something a little different, it's fun to be different, it keeps people guessing.

The reasons why EVERYONE loves Fridays.....(Oh happy day, oh happy day!!)

1. It is nap day for me! I only nap once a week and I have made that official day to be Friday's!
2. Dress-down, I don't have to dress up on Friday's.......
3. I only work until 1:00, which is still 8:00 hours for me (I am lucky, I think, to have a key to my building so I can come in as early as I want) but back to #1 it is nap day!
4. Two days until I have to go back to work. This weekend even better I don't have to back for THREE days.
5. I can watch my husband drink and act like I used too.
6. I don't have to hide my tatoo for two whole days - can't show my tatoo at work...might offend someone, I can't tell you how many people I have offended by this 'leaping gecko'.
7. I can swear like a trucker if I want and no one will care.
8. I can go 'commando' and Jason won't even question it......no underwear and bra means Friday. BTW...Who came up with the whole 'commando' thing anyway, could someone think of something better to call it?
9. I have an excuse to play this http://acne-be-gone.freeonlinegames.com/
10. Can't help this one, it is vital on a Friday......he he he....love this thought of the day: Some people are like Slinkys, they aren’t really good for anything but you can’t help but smile when you push them down the stairs.

I tried to attempt for the first time last night since my operation to do sit-ups. Well, that was very unsuccessful. I was able to complete 10, I went from 100 (a night) to 10, WTF??? I felt like my insides were stretching out of me. So I attempted to do some other things all of them as unsuccessful. I haven't worked out in weeks and needless to say I feel awful about myself. I was so sad, and I am feeling like a

big fat slug.

Oh well.....with time this too will pass, but officially I will not be doing the Tri......... :~( So sad.......sniffle, sniffle, sniffle!

Mother Day Activities:

Slept in until 9:00 - I haven't done that in years......

Breakfast made for me of pancakes bacon, eggs and toast.

Picinic on Antelope Island, all in all it was pretty fun except for the biting flies that I wasn't aware of, I did bring insect repellant but it wasn't nearly strong enough. My mom and dad went and they said they had a great time........I would go back and hike the peak but again back to those flies!

Did some PMSing about how helpful Jason is on Mother's Day. (I pack for picinic, I load for trip, I carry all food down for the picinic, I make the sandwiches, I pack everything back from the picinic, I watch the kids while Jason wanders around aimlessly - Happy Father's Day)

Stopped at Target while Jason went to Home Depot.

Took a nap.

Had Arby's for dinner.

I went back to work Monday......I was so sore by 7:00am, so I went home, called the doctor, and had him refill my Loratab perscription. The Lord loved me when he made pain killers. I have healed VERY well, and all and all am doing great!

I am afraid that I won't be ready for the Triathalon at the end of June. I can't start running again yet due to the riping of the stitches on the inside. I am so sad, I have cried and cried over this. I really wanted this. But I guess there is next year, right? I will still go to the race to support my sister and my sister-in-law, and cry with them at the end. I love my family and will support them in anything they do.

My Lilacs bloomed on Tuesday (coincidentally two years to the day that my grandpa died) they were brought here from Germany over 100 years ago by my great grandma Wegner. They are beautiful this year....I have more blooms this year than I ever have.